WTF’S A TOM BOY

WARNING: this is a rant.

 recently something really set me off. to be honest, i can’t remember how the conversation came about but we got on the topic of my co-workers niece and how she wants to be a boy. she’s 8 and i don’t think she meant she wanted the genitalia of a boy, she wanted the “perks” of being a boy. ever since she’s been little she’s had “boy-like” interests. she doesn’t wear dresses, her favourite colour is blue, she refuses to take her hair out of a pony-tail and her favourite movie is star wars (star trek? i’m not even sure what the difference is). she sounds great, right? what made me think was, why are these things considered “boy-like”. why is Toys ‘R’ Us split girls toys vs boy toys. why do you have to be a specific gender to be able to have interests in specific things? i’m a girl. i like make-up and hair products, admittedly my hygiene could be better. i’m not always shaven like a naked mole rat, to be honest i’m hardly ever shaven. i don’t like getting my nails done, or getting my eyebrows or lip waxed because frankly i consider it a waste of money. my favourite toy growing up was this digimon hand-held toy. digimon, is that still a thing? i guess my confusion is, it’s 2017 almost everything is legal and they encourage you to be so accepting that you’re considered homophobic or racist for having an opinion. why aren’t children free to have interests or hobbies without judgment or gender limitations?

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i would honestly just love for someone to explain to me, why boys get; pokemon cards, hockey cards, dinky cars, action figures, super heros, masks, swords, ninja turtles, power rangers, lego, sports, video games, hot wheels and nurf guns. while girls get barbies, princesses and fucking easy bake ovens.  

the year of the social media cleanse

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happy easter, and happy birthday to me!

twenty-five, just like that. quarter century birthday – turn up! i seriously can’t believe i’m twenty-five, like what the fuck happened? i swear i remember turning 18 and getting my little white civic – two cars later, and here we are. graduated university, making that fulltime coin and hashtag living. i really can’t believe how fast my life is just passing me by. it’s weird though, since a lot has happened in the last 7 years it feels like a long time, but it went by so quickly. does that even make any sense? i don’t know. enough about turning twenty-five, let’s get into what twenty-five means for me.

twenty-five is the year of the social media cleanse. i deactivated my facebook two months ago, and to be honest – i don’t miss it at all. i highly, highly doubt i’ll ever be on facebook again. unless life takes me to a place away from my family, i don’t have a need for it. i definitely don’t have a need for 400+ facebook friends. so if (and that’s a big if) i ever decide facebook is something i want to waste my time on, i’ll start from scratch. twitter, i thought long and hard about this, since twitter isn’t a social media “addiction” of mine, deactivating and never getting back on wouldn’t phase me. however, for username purposes i’ve just deleted the app. i’m not going to check twitter or post for a year. i’ve decided the same thing for instagram – this will be hard i already know. but a year away, not checking and not posting will be beneficial. i don’t spend an astronomical amount of time on instagram, maybe 45 minutes through the span of a day – usually on the toilet. i just don’t need my life consumed with lives that aren’t affected by me, but affect my life. does that make sense? if instagram was somehow selective to just the 90 people i follow, i don’t think i would leave. it’s the million sponsored posts and stuff i might like on my search tab which loses my interest (because it catches my interest). all in all i want to live a more present lifestyle. i want to enjoy my things even though i know they aren’t the best. i want to feel comfortable in my body, even though i know it’s not the “smallest”. most of all, i want to see my life more clear as opposed to being manipulated by snaps of happiness or beauty altered by photoshop and lighting. i know the things i see aren’t what they appear, but that hasn’t stopped me from wanting to live someone else’s life. as for snapchat, my holy grail of social media platforms. i’m going to stay on. i know i know, if i’m going to cut it i should cut it all. here’s the thing a couple month ago i made a new snapchat and started fresh. i’ve got a total of 16 friends and they’re all my friends. there’s no celebrities or internet personalities. they’re just regular people – like me, living regular lives. so here’s to twenty-five, the year of healthier living.

YES MAN

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somehow in this life i’ve managed to become a “yes man”. at work, when asked to do something – whether i have time or not – i always agree. with friends, if they want to do something – whether i want to or not – i always agree. having this type of personality isn’t a bad thing, it’s just put me in the position where i get taken advantage of. i’m programmed not to be able to say no and i find myself accommodating people who don’t make me a priority over people who do. i get the last-minute saturday night text to see if i want to do something, and even when i’m not free, i agree. i don’t like feeling like a disappointment so i work extra hard to “impress” people who don’t care about my well-being. i guess i’m old-fashioned. i just think if someone goes out of their way to do something for you, you should repay them. not every time, nice things shouldn’t be done for the sake of rewards but every now and again to show that you’re appreciative. when agreements are made, they should be honoured by both parties. and when things are promised, don’t pretend you have them when you don’t. if you know that you can’t come up with your end of the bargain, then be honest. don’t come up with some story in the moment, and then never follow through. it’s not like i forgot, i just don’t have it in me to ask. relationships need to be nourished, honest and fair. i truly wish i had it in me to flip off half of my circle and tell them never to contact me again, but where would that get me after all this time of being a yes man?

the time I went skinny dipping

tumblr_static_sun_cloudsdisclaimer: the title is basically click bait.

i have one avid reader – she doesn’t read my posts as i post them. she waits a couple of months, reads one post and then snapchats me i need to blog more often #friendshipgolas. she was recently promoted from her customer service job into sales so she’ll have less time to check my blog and hopefully that’ll mean she’s accumulated more to read. hopefully. i thought it would be fun to do a “storytime blog”. considering all of my most outrageous stories have her in them picking one was hard. So i decided to go with the time i went skinny dipping – kind of.

it was summer 2015, she was newly single from a 2 year relationship and was on tinderbox searching for a tinder surprise. she went on a couple of dates and fell in love (as she usually does) with an army boy. we were supposed to have a lowkey night, somehow they never end up being lowkey. i found myself in the big city picking up her flavour of the month. the plan was to go back to her place, drink, party, swim and crash. the hour car ride was questionable and i knew she had no clue what she had gotten us into. for anonymity purposes i’ll rename the men in this story – john was the boy she liked and mario was his friend that tagged along for the night. after a couple of drinks and listening to some tunes they decided they were ready to swim. the thing was john and mario didn’t plan on ending up in a pool that night and never brought swim trunks. before i knew it their shirts were off and their pants (and boxers) were at their ankles. believe me i wasn’t drunk enough for that. the site of a foreign penis makes me jittery so i had to put my hands over my eyes. i know, i’m childish. me and B stripped down to our bras and underwear (basically a bikini right?) and hopped in the pool too. for the next hour we watched two grown ass men frolicking in the water, picking each other’s naked asses up and sliding down the water slide… together.

B dated john for well over a year and mario attempted to stick his finger in my butt.

the best has yet to come

another year older, another year wiser. i’m not going to make a list of expectations for myself and twenty-seventeen. because here’s the thing, if i was going to eat healthier, i would’ve. if i was going to exercise, i would’ve. heck, if i was going to blog more – that’s right, you guessed it, i would’ve. what i’ve found out about life is, the older you get the harder it is to find time to do the things you love. after a long day of work it’s hard for me to find motivation. i know there’s a lot of people who drag there asses and make time, but there’s far more who don’t. i guess, i’m lazy in my personal life and over-perform in my professional life. i need to find balance. will the fact that the calendar rolled over play any part in my being less of a lazy ass? i doubt it. but, i have had 2 1/2 weeks off from work and i’ve recommitted my love for reading. hopefully once i’m back in the swing of real life, i can maintain a reading schedule.

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hopefully i’ll also eat less tacos. 

merry christmas ya filthy animals

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i know it’s not PC to say merry christmas anymore, but damn y’all MERRY CHRISTMAS! the “holidays” are meant for laughing, gathering, stuffing your face, rejoicing – and regardless of your race or religion celebrating the fact that you survived another year. some of us were more successful in 2016, while others, are counting down the minutes until it’s over. but if you’re reading this, we all of the same thing to be thankful for – we’re still breathing. wishing you, and your loved ones a merry holiday and a happy and healthy 2017.

now where’s my presents at though?

runnin through the 6 with my woes

IMG_6624i’m currently rollin through the streets in a rental bae. not because i smashed my Jeep or anything but because my year and a half old, 25 000km trucks radiator went. a new radiator at 25 000kms god i hope i’m not the person still driving this thing at 100 000kms. i had heard before i even bought my truck that Jeeps, Chryslers and Dodge’s were lemons but i ignored all that because have you seen my car? it’s badass. but now i’m thinking i shouldn’t have been so quick to silence the naysayers. even my pops, when we were sitting in the seat at Chrysler – pen in hand, contract in face turned to me and said “do you know what else is out there for this kind of money?” no dad i didn’t. why didn’t you rip the pen right out of my hand? as much as i love jemmye with all of my heart, now i’m scared. scared that in 2 years once i’m off warranty i’ll be pumpin thousands of dollars into repairing her. that is why i’ve come up with the most genius of plans. she should be paid off in the next 6-8 months. i will then have a year free of car payments and on her 3rd birthday i will sell her privately… take the money i get from the sale, and buy something new outright.

here’s to the master plan (and 3 year warranties on lemons)

RIPPLE EFFECT

green-stem-and-water-ripple-the-long-goodbyelately ive been thinking about how differently my life could’ve turned out, just think about it – all it takes is untelling a lie, making a different choice, speaking your mind or pursuing a different path and things could be significantly different. it could be the most trivial thing like when i was 18 i was dating this guy he was a few years older, and i was embarrassed to tell him i had a curfew. he wanted to see a movie on a sunday night, and i couldn’t stay out long enough. instead of telling him i had a curfew i pretended i didn’t want to see a movie and we drove around aimlessly for an hour. he was mad, and instead of finally telling him i had a curfew… i dumped his ass. i mean, do i think things would’ve worked out? no. i was young then and didn’t know what i wanted (and happened to spend the next 6 years with the greatest man this side of the moon) but, its that little thing that could’ve potentially made a monumental change. think about it, what if you never went to that party – or went to that party? what if you chose a different post-secondary school? what if you held out for that dream job? what if you told your then boyfriend that you had a curfew?

MAN I’M OLD

i feel like everyone at some point has a man i’m old epiphany. i had my first (of many, i’m sure) this week. i’m going to throw down a little family dynamics real quick for you. i’m 1 of 4 children, second in the birth order but the oldest of 3 girls (so everyone is on the same page i have 1 older brother and 2 younger sisters). on monday my baby sister had her prom and on tuesday she graduated highschool. when my other younger sister graduated 2 years ago i was proud but it never really felt monumental. let me tell you though – when your sister, who is 6 years younger than you, that you can vividly remember dropping as a baby (sorry about that) graduates from highschool you can’t help but stop and think… what the fuck just happened? where did the last 4 years go?

it also doesnt help that her graduating highschool marks my 6 years out of highschool anniversary 

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me on prom night with my bestfriend at the time

things i no longer have time for – birthday edition

148856_10150311029095072_3452171_nin honour of my twenty-fourth birthday i thought i’d just run through the things i no longer have time for in my life since i’m well into “adulthood” now.

  • shitty friends 

i think this is a common thing when maturing. i’m to busy now to waste my time on friendships that mean more to me then they do to the person i’m friends with. i left high school a long time ago, and with that i left the drama, the backstabbing and the gossiping. everyone’s definition of a shitty friend is different – i just don’t like people who waste my time and never learn. you’re happy now, and that’s great but when your boyfriend leaves you… again… don’t expect me to be there to say i told you so (even though i told you so). keep your circle small – a girl doesn’t need more than 1 true friend.

  • hate

i spent a long time hating people (mainly because they’re stupid) but i’ve decided to let that go. it just makes being around them unbearable and i really shouldn’t expect everyone to be a super genius like me. so, if you’re reading this and there was a point in time when we used to be close but, your idiocracy made your presence the bane of my existence – call me. my numbers still the same.

  • looking cute

it’s bad enough that i have to wake-up every morning brush my hair, teeth and put make-up on for work, so don’t expect me to be runway ready on my lazy sunday. and yes i am aware that my style resembles that of your grandma – floral shirts and cardigans all day long.

this is just the short list, but i didn’t want to bore you on a saturday. tonight i will be celebrating in style with the girls (a.k.a my 1 friend, my sister and her 1 friend) if you need me i’ll be plastered in the city.

P.S obviously this list wouldn’t be complete without bills, but knowing i have 70 more years to pay them is depressing enough. ain’t nobody got time for bills.

P.S.S. i know my throwback is adorable – i was a child abductors dream.