disclaimer: the title is basically click bait.
i have one avid reader – she doesn’t read my posts as i post them. she waits a couple of months, reads one post and then snapchats me i need to blog more often #friendshipgolas. she was recently promoted from her customer service job into sales so she’ll have less time to check my blog and hopefully that’ll mean she’s accumulated more to read. hopefully. i thought it would be fun to do a “storytime blog”. considering all of my most outrageous stories have her in them picking one was hard. So i decided to go with the time i went skinny dipping – kind of.
it was summer 2015, she was newly single from a 2 year relationship and was on tinderbox searching for a tinder surprise. she went on a couple of dates and fell in love (as she usually does) with an army boy. we were supposed to have a lowkey night, somehow they never end up being lowkey. i found myself in the big city picking up her flavour of the month. the plan was to go back to her place, drink, party, swim and crash. the hour car ride was questionable and i knew she had no clue what she had gotten us into. for anonymity purposes i’ll rename the men in this story – john was the boy she liked and mario was his friend that tagged along for the night. after a couple of drinks and listening to some tunes they decided they were ready to swim. the thing was john and mario didn’t plan on ending up in a pool that night and never brought swim trunks. before i knew it their shirts were off and their pants (and boxers) were at their ankles. believe me i wasn’t drunk enough for that. the site of a foreign penis makes me jittery so i had to put my hands over my eyes. i know, i’m childish. me and B stripped down to our bras and underwear (basically a bikini right?) and hopped in the pool too. for the next hour we watched two grown ass men frolicking in the water, picking each other’s naked asses up and sliding down the water slide… together.
B dated john for well over a year and mario attempted to stick his finger in my butt.