“i don’t have facebook” i probably say this a good 3 times a week (usually to my mother). back in april i thought i’d try doing a social media cleanse and deactivated my facebook, stopped using twitter and stopped posting on instagram. i suspected the no facebook, no twitter thing would be easy and i’d struggle with the staying away from instagram – and i was right. i haven’t posted anything but i find myself checking it, or wanting to check it more often than i had hoped. i’m self-aware, so i know i only check it because i’m”bored” so i set parameters around my use. i don’t check the stuff i might like, you know when you go to search and it pops a feed of the most trendy stuff based off of what the people you follow like? i don’t search for people i don’t follow and i don’t follow people i don’t know. i limit the time i spend checking my home feed and i allow myself to watch people’s insta stories. because i mean, insta stories are basically snapchat stories and your girl ain’t ever givin’ up on snapchat.
i can’t believe it’s been over 3 months since i’ve posted my last blog. i cant believe were almost three quarters of our way through 2017. people used to tell me when i was younger that time would fly as i got older. i’d think to myself, “OK, 24 hours in a day doesn’t change” but it’s seriously true. i guess the older i’m getting the more routine my life is, and days are just flowing into eachother. since it’s been a hot minute since i posted my last blog i thought i’d do a check-in for myself. i had some goals this year that i’ve been able to check off my list.
most importantly – i paid off my truck. yes, yes, three pats on the back and a virtual high-five for me. 2 years and 1 month later i can officially say, i own my car. i got a promotion at work.yes, yes, three pats on the back and a virtual high-five for me. i’m lucky to say that i like what i do and i enjoy going to work. the people make all the difference, and i work with a team that i’ve formed genuine friendships with which makes getting up every morning easier. your girl doesn’t have another 40 years of working in her, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. lastly, i’ve read 10 books so far this year. yes, yes, three pats on the back and a virtual high-five for me. reading more was on my new years resolution list. i haven’t been reading as much as i wanted and like everything else extracurricular in my life, the consistency hasn’t been there. but, i’m on track to read over twice as many books as i did last year.
sometimes, it’s the small victories.
happy easter, and happy birthday to me!
twenty-five, just like that. quarter century birthday – turn up! i seriously can’t believe i’m twenty-five, like what the fuck happened? i swear i remember turning 18 and getting my little white civic – two cars later, and here we are. graduated university, making that fulltime coin and hashtag living. i really can’t believe how fast my life is just passing me by. it’s weird though, since a lot has happened in the last 7 years it feels like a long time, but it went by so quickly. does that even make any sense? i don’t know. enough about turning twenty-five, let’s get into what twenty-five means for me.
twenty-five is the year of the social media cleanse. i deactivated my facebook two months ago, and to be honest – i don’t miss it at all. i highly, highly doubt i’ll ever be on facebook again. unless life takes me to a place away from my family, i don’t have a need for it. i definitely don’t have a need for 400+ facebook friends. so if (and that’s a big if) i ever decide facebook is something i want to waste my time on, i’ll start from scratch. twitter, i thought long and hard about this, since twitter isn’t a social media “addiction” of mine, deactivating and never getting back on wouldn’t phase me. however, for username purposes i’ve just deleted the app. i’m not going to check twitter or post for a year. i’ve decided the same thing for instagram – this will be hard i already know. but a year away, not checking and not posting will be beneficial. i don’t spend an astronomical amount of time on instagram, maybe 45 minutes through the span of a day – usually on the toilet. i just don’t need my life consumed with lives that aren’t affected by me, but affect my life. does that make sense? if instagram was somehow selective to just the 90 people i follow, i don’t think i would leave. it’s the million sponsored posts and stuff i might like on my search tab which loses my interest (because it catches my interest). all in all i want to live a more present lifestyle. i want to enjoy my things even though i know they aren’t the best. i want to feel comfortable in my body, even though i know it’s not the “smallest”. most of all, i want to see my life more clear as opposed to being manipulated by snaps of happiness or beauty altered by photoshop and lighting. i know the things i see aren’t what they appear, but that hasn’t stopped me from wanting to live someone else’s life. as for snapchat, my holy grail of social media platforms. i’m going to stay on. i know i know, if i’m going to cut it i should cut it all. here’s the thing a couple month ago i made a new snapchat and started fresh. i’ve got a total of 16 friends and they’re all my friends. there’s no celebrities or internet personalities. they’re just regular people – like me, living regular lives. so here’s to twenty-five, the year of healthier living.
somehow in this life i’ve managed to become a “yes man”. at work, when asked to do something – whether i have time or not – i always agree. with friends, if they want to do something – whether i want to or not – i always agree. having this type of personality isn’t a bad thing, it’s just put me in the position where i get taken advantage of. i’m programmed not to be able to say no and i find myself accommodating people who don’t make me a priority over people who do. i get the last-minute saturday night text to see if i want to do something, and even when i’m not free, i agree. i don’t like feeling like a disappointment so i work extra hard to “impress” people who don’t care about my well-being. i guess i’m old-fashioned. i just think if someone goes out of their way to do something for you, you should repay them. not every time, nice things shouldn’t be done for the sake of rewards but every now and again to show that you’re appreciative. when agreements are made, they should be honoured by both parties. and when things are promised, don’t pretend you have them when you don’t. if you know that you can’t come up with your end of the bargain, then be honest. don’t come up with some story in the moment, and then never follow through. it’s not like i forgot, i just don’t have it in me to ask. relationships need to be nourished, honest and fair. i truly wish i had it in me to flip off half of my circle and tell them never to contact me again, but where would that get me after all this time of being a yes man?
another year older, another year wiser. i’m not going to make a list of expectations for myself and twenty-seventeen. because here’s the thing, if i was going to eat healthier, i would’ve. if i was going to exercise, i would’ve. heck, if i was going to blog more – that’s right, you guessed it, i would’ve. what i’ve found out about life is, the older you get the harder it is to find time to do the things you love. after a long day of work it’s hard for me to find motivation. i know there’s a lot of people who drag there asses and make time, but there’s far more who don’t. i guess, i’m lazy in my personal life and over-perform in my professional life. i need to find balance. will the fact that the calendar rolled over play any part in my being less of a lazy ass? i doubt it. but, i have had 2 1/2 weeks off from work and i’ve recommitted my love for reading. hopefully once i’m back in the swing of real life, i can maintain a reading schedule.
hopefully i’ll also eat less tacos.
i know it’s not PC to say merry christmas anymore, but damn y’all MERRY CHRISTMAS! the “holidays” are meant for laughing, gathering, stuffing your face, rejoicing – and regardless of your race or religion celebrating the fact that you survived another year. some of us were more successful in 2016, while others, are counting down the minutes until it’s over. but if you’re reading this, we all of the same thing to be thankful for – we’re still breathing. wishing you, and your loved ones a merry holiday and a happy and healthy 2017.
now where’s my presents at though?
i’m currently rollin through the streets in a rental bae. not because i smashed my Jeep or anything but because my year and a half old, 25 000km trucks radiator went. a new radiator at 25 000kms god i hope i’m not the person still driving this thing at 100 000kms. i had heard before i even bought my truck that Jeeps, Chryslers and Dodge’s were lemons but i ignored all that because have you seen my car? it’s badass. but now i’m thinking i shouldn’t have been so quick to silence the naysayers. even my pops, when we were sitting in the seat at Chrysler – pen in hand, contract in face turned to me and said “do you know what else is out there for this kind of money?” no dad i didn’t. why didn’t you rip the pen right out of my hand? as much as i love jemmye with all of my heart, now i’m scared. scared that in 2 years once i’m off warranty i’ll be pumpin thousands of dollars into repairing her. that is why i’ve come up with the most genius of plans. she should be paid off in the next 6-8 months. i will then have a year free of car payments and on her 3rd birthday i will sell her privately… take the money i get from the sale, and buy something new outright.
here’s to the master plan (and 3 year warranties on lemons)
i feel like everyone at some point has a man i’m old epiphany. i had my first (of many, i’m sure) this week. i’m going to throw down a little family dynamics real quick for you. i’m 1 of 4 children, second in the birth order but the oldest of 3 girls (so everyone is on the same page i have 1 older brother and 2 younger sisters). on monday my baby sister had her prom and on tuesday she graduated highschool. when my other younger sister graduated 2 years ago i was proud but it never really felt monumental. let me tell you though – when your sister, who is 6 years younger than you, that you can vividly remember dropping as a baby (sorry about that) graduates from highschool you can’t help but stop and think… what the fuck just happened? where did the last 4 years go?
it also doesnt help that her graduating highschool marks my 6 years out of highschool anniversary
me on prom night with my bestfriend at the time
i’m not sure why, but time has been escaping me lately. i can’t believe in nine weeks it’ll be the first day of 2016. it feels like i just wrung in the new year. there’s likely a philosophy behind why time passes by quicker as you age and there’s probably some mathematical equation to go along with it, so i’ll never figure it out. but, i’ve come up with my own theory; essentially, life is like your gas tank – it feels like it takes forever to go from full to ¾ and then ¾ to ½ goes quicker ½ to ¼ is gone within a blink and before you can say “shit i need gas” the light comes on. once you start observing life, it goes by faster. when you’re watching someone else grow, falling in love, learning something new – it goes faster. what do they say? time flies when you’re having fun.
just think of all the fun to be had between today and new year’s day, the next nine weeks is your gas tank going from ¼ to empty, so i thought it would be a good time to reflect on my year and see how i’m doing. i didn’t make any resolutions, just to go out more and make more friends. that was accomplished. i had the summer of a lifetime, bought a new car, found a new job, drank and ate my teeny tiny heart out and for a split second i was skinny. a girl can’t really ask for much more.
i never do “current event” posts. hell i never post a blog the day i write it, but today that’s going to change and i can’t guarantee it’ll never happen again.
josh duggar is apparently a reformed child molester – i don’t really care. he lives thousands of miles away from me, the likelihood of him coming into contact with my children is slim. my issue isn’t with who he was, it’s with who he is, what he believes, and the reaction of far too many stupid people.
josh has gone on the record saying that being gay is an unforgiveable sin. here’s the thing, are you “god”? do you have some sort of telephone line to “heaven” where he’s told you this? and how is an unconscious “sin” unforgivable but a conscious one forgiveable? you fondled not one but FOUR of your sisters genitals while they were sleeping and the god you believe in forgives that, because you’ve “redeemed” yourself but joe loving bill is still a punishable act? if that’s the case then i have this whole religion thing ass backwards. i would condemn a child molester too hell well before i’d condemn anyone in the LGBT community.
and to anyone who’s defending him, and underplaying his actions due to his age. if he was the boy across the street would you be so understanding? if he had fondled your sister, niece or daughter would it still be okay? just because he’s some form of a celebrity (i use that term very loosely) doesn’t mean he’s above the law or your standards. and to everyone i saw say “he was 14 everyone’s curious about sexuality at 14.” LOL, sure they are but they don’t turn to incest. hence why masturbation is so common in boys that age. oh, and if you want to again defend his age, he knew what he was doing was wrong because he fondled them in their sleep, when he thought he wouldn’t get caught. A++ for paedophilia efforts.
as for TLC it’ll be interesting to see what they do, considering they cut mama june and her bodacious bunch out because she was talking to a known child molester. my, my, my now one of the duggars is one, it’s the TLC curse. breaking up families, marriages and bringing all sorts of creepy into the light.